So about 18 months ago, I defended someone who was using a "Grammar Nazi" icon.  It was a shitty thing to do, I was rightly called out for it and since then I've become more aware of the word and have started calling people out when I see them using it to mean anything other than "people who support or supported Hitler". 

So now, 18 months later, someone's passing around a spelling meme on Facebook and captioned it, "For all you Grammar Nazis Out There".  I said something to the originator of the meme.  Was argued with.  Twice.  And so posted the following as my status:

Things that are Nazis: People who support or supported Hitler and his ideology.
Things that are not Nazis: Everyone else.
Please do not confuse one with the other. Thank you.
The following conversation ensued:

Cut for length and epic stupidity. )ETA: Random Commenter #2 )Cut for length and epic stupidity. )

ETA 2: The Jackass' response and more conversation. )
ETA 3: Yet another response from the jackass and my response. )ETA 4: Deep. Hurting. Yep, he responded again and derailed the conversation so far off the original point that I have no clue how to get it back on track. I tried, though. )
ETA 5: Jackass: I understand that you're offended by me using the term "IT Nazi". Well, I am not going to change it. )


Here's the thing, 18 months ago, I was that jackass.

Cut for length.  )
Warning: Possible triggers for slurs in both the comments and the post.  Also, general asshattery. 

Well, Shit

Oct. 26th, 2011 12:03 am
For those who can't see the video below, it's an ad for Dr. Pepper that parodies an action movie and says, "This movie isn't for you and neither is Dr. Pepper 10."

I usually don't see commercials because I DVR everything and fast-forward, but this one popped up on [ profile] sf_drama and pissed me off enough for me to make a separate post about it for one reason and one reason only.

I love Dr. Pepper.  It's literally my favorite soda.  It's in my pantry and if it's on the menu, it's what I always order at a restaurant.  And now I can never drink it again because drinking it would literally leave a bad taste in my mouth.  I'm tasting bile right now because of it.  And yes, I do have more important things to be thinking about, which is, in part, why this is pissing me off so much.  I should be worrying about how my abortion rights are being curtailed.  I should be worrying about a GOP candidate who's so stupid that he thinks that the President signs Constitutional Amendments

Instead, I'm thinking about Dr. Pepper and about how a lot of women are BUYING it "in protest", basically giving in to the reverse psychology of this ad telling them they can't drink it.  Which is depressing, because the only way for a company to not do this shit is for people to NOT buy the product.  As I am doing.  Someone just told me to, "Have fun making absolutely no impact on Dr. Pepper's marketing strategies," which is a fair comment.  Dr. Pepper doesn't give a shit about whether or not I buy it - they just proved it with this ad.  So the only impact I'm going to try to make here is on my wallet.  Every time I see Dr. Pepper on a menu, I'm going to not order it and have water only instead.  I'm going to make a note of what it would have cost and stick that money in a jar somewhere.  When I would have bought it at the grocery store (along with Mt. Dew, because those are the two sodas I buy when Coke and Sprite aren't on sale), I'm going to save that money too. 

We'll see how much adds up in a year. 
Cut for video of the ad. )
[Error: unknown template qotd]I would erase the intrinsic idea that most human beings have that anyone "Other" is someone to be feared.  I know the place where it comes from is one that helped our ancestors to survive (because it told us that the thing that went "bump" in the night might be a bear coming to eat us or that a stranger might be a drain on resources already stretched thin by subsistence living), but I'd truly rather that our species never have made it to this point, instead of us being sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic and generally horrible to anyone who doesn't fit within our specific definition of "normal" (which is something that literally varies from person to person and no one really has set values for anyway).

Cut for length and mentions of harm. )

Bottom line:  I would erase all of the excuses and justifications that people use to rationalize hurting those who are different from them.   
This is the only trigger warning you're getting, because I absolutely REFUSE to cut this.  Scroll fast if you need to.  

Today is the two-year anniversary of his murder and I had no plans to blog about it beyond re-posting this tribute on Facebook.

All of that changed when I went to Hometown Buffet today and saw what shall furthermore be referred to as an "Abortion Bus."  It could have been a converted camper (it had one of those 'over-the-cab' camper-like attachments, but it was painted blood red and so covered in anti-abortion propaganda and PICTURES OF DEAD FETUSES that it was hard to tell for sure).

I went in and complained to the manager of the restaurant, that since it was on private property they shouldn't allow it there.  The manager tried to say it was a "First Amendment" thing and that he didn't want to get involved.  I only wish I hadn't already paid for our food, but we made the decision there and then - we'll never eat there if we see that bus in their parking lot.  I also wrote to Old Country Buffet, telling them exactly how I feel about their managers dismissal of allowing such horrific images to be displayed RIGHT IN FRONT OF A RESTAURANT where people are trying to eat.  I'm also seriously considering NEVER stepping foot in there again, given that their attitude and considering we've been eating there VERY often lately and have probably eaten there an average of once per month for the last fifteen years, that's pretty significant.

It's very, VERY lucky that I didn't know to whom the bus belonged, that I had no clue who they were in the restaurant, because I likely would have confronted them for being pro-slavery assholes.  And yes, I just said fucking SLAVERY.  Forcing a woman to have a baby she doesn't want sounds a lot like turning her into a broodmare and to me, that goes beyond a basic violation of human rights and says 'slavery' to me. 

I have to say, seeing that made me more Pro-Choice than ever, made me even flippantly remark that I'd like to go out and get an abortion just for spite.  Keep in mind, I WANT to have a baby, but with asshats like this trying to FORCE me into it, it makes me less than thrilled about the prospect of ever being pregnant, especially being high-risk and older, which leads to a greater chance that I would need the services of someone like Dr. Tiller.  

If you're reading this and are anti-choice in any way, shape, or form, go fuck yourself.  You can be pro-woman, in the sense that you are in favor of helping pregnant women have more options than just abortion, but if you are in ANY WAY in favor of overturning Roe Vs Wade or restricting a woman's freedom to choose what she may do with HER BODY, stay the fuck away from me and my spaces.   

You are not welcome here. 

South Dakota Moves To Legalize Killing Abortion Providers

When I first saw this story, I thought it had to be a case of bad reporting, but no - there's more than one source:

Source 2

Source 3

Source 4  South Dakota legislators have tried repeatedly  to outlaw abortion, but those bans were rejected by voters. So they've passed several laws to chip away at abortion rights, Sheppard reports. Women seeking an abortion have to listen to a lecture that they're terminating "the life of a whole, separate, unique, living human being," then wait 24 hours to get the medical procedure. And for 16 years, the state has had no abortion providers--Planned Parenthood flies in a doctor once a week to Sioux Falls.

I'm actually numb with shock right now and can't think of anything coherent to say other than the title to this entry. There's no clever icon I can use, no words to express how horrified, disgusted and actually violated I feel that this could be even be considered, let alone get this far.

If I think about this long enough, I'm going to start to cry, so this will be something that just gets pushed into the RAGE BOX until I can begin to actually process it and think about what could be done to stop it.


Shit like this is why there are only 836 doctors even willing to perform abortions in the US and that number probably just went down today.  I can't blame them, but I can hope that every pro-life woman out there finds herself needing an abortion.  A horrible thing to feel, let alone say?  Yes, but it's truly how I feel in this moment.  If you're willing to kill for this and allow other women to die for it, you should be willing to die for it yourself. 

Inspired by more than one comment on the post that this post links to, I'm finally going to weigh in on the whole anti-PC, thought-police, this-word-has-another-meaning-and-no-one-can-own-a-word, I-don't have-to-change-simply-because-you're-offended school of thought.

I'm going to begin by saying that I'm guilty of using pretty much every word that is at issue at one point or another, some as recently as last year, so I'm not saying that I'm not in a glass house here. 


For those who are against changing their language to remove certain words from their vocabularies because another person is offended by it, I ask the following question:

Who does it hurt? 

Seriously, who does it hurt to make the effort not to use words that others have found offensive?  I know that it's an effort to do so, so I guess someone could argue that it's hurting them by virtue of the fact that changing one's vocabulary and deleting certain words is hella difficult...  Well, I have to say that it's more difficult in the offline world, but online?  It's as easy as being careful of what one types.  I realize that for some, who type as quickly as they think, that could be a challenge, but seriously?  Who does it hurt?  Why is it such a big deal to just not be an asshat when someone asks you to do so?

Cut for possible triggers and an incomplete list of incredibly offensive slurs that everyone should know not to use. Ever.  )And because I've been educating myself a bunch lately, here are a bunch of links that all say all of this a lot better than I just did.

101 Primer

[ profile] sparkindarkness' entire journal.

Read all of that and then come back to discuss, if you wish, :).

ETA: Proof that not being an asshat is an ongoing battle: Weak is ableist.  Thank you to [ profile] 51stcenturyfox  for letting me know, :).

ETA 2: My comment thread on the post that started all of this is here

ETA 3: Drama communities are probably not the best place to start, lol, but if it were not for them I never would have found most of this stuff out, which is why I mentioned them.  The best place to start is with the 101 Primer and go from there, :).

This post has now been edited because my essential message was being lost and I was doing more harm than good by defending my position on one phrase.  Most of the comments regarding that phrase have now been screened.  I'm not a PoC, so my feelings on that phrase don't matter whatsoever and continuing to argue about it only detracts from the essential point of what I was trying to say. 

I apologize for the drama.

For the record I am US-born, white, queer though I easily pass for both female and straight, and able-bodied.  I have no personal experience with physical, racial or ethnic discrimination and I apologize for speaking for those groups as if I were personally invested in those particular slurs not being used.

The areas in which I have personal experience and/or a personal investment include: feminism/sexim, sex work, body image/food, sexual freedom, BGLTQP rights/homophobia, bullying, child abuse, the US foster care system, the US health care system, PTSD, anxiety, depression and mental health.  
Arizona Representative Gabrielle Giffords shot, several wounded.  She was shot in the head and is in surgery.  She's still alive as of this posting, though at least one of her aids wasn't so lucky.  She's a Democrat who just won a narrow victory against a Tea Party Candidate.  As [ profile] rm  noted, her district was shown under a 'crosshairs' graphic on Sarah Palin's website.

ETA: A nine-year-old child was killed in this shooting.  This monster MURDERED A CHILD in the name of politics.  

First, just to get it out of the way, anyone who uses violence or the threat of violence in support of what they believe can go fuck themselves.

Second, I'm getting really tired of the stupid, militant asshats in this country (the US) getting away with this shit.  (And yes, they've arrested this particular militant asshat, but I know there will be those who condone his behavior privately, even if they condemn it publicly.)

I'm tired of abortion doctors facing the threat of death for supporting the rights of women not to be broodmares, but it's excused because it's 'god's will'.

I'm tired of Glenn Beck being allowed to rewrite history to say that it was the 3/5 clause and not the deaths of 600,000 people that led to the end of slavery.

I'm tired of Bill O'Reilly being allowed to say that 'you can't explain the tides' to an atheist in defense of god

I'm tired of the GOP saying that they're going to reduce the deficit, but exempt anything that they want to do (i.e. tax cuts and repealing health care reform) from their plans to do so.

I'm tired of people voting against their own self-interest because they don't want other people to have rights.

I'm tired of my side not prosecuting GW Bush's administration for war crimes.

I'm tired.

Note: To anyone who says that I shouldn't be bringing up all of this other stuff when a woman is critically injured in the hospital, I say that it's all part of a larger pattern of bullshit we've allowed stupid people to get away with for far too long.  She might not be lying in that hospital right now if we didn't give so many militant stupid fucksticks a pass when they promote stupidity. 


Dec. 30th, 2010 09:07 pm
If you haven't heard, the BBC decided to interview a Christian who supports the execution of gays to comment on Sir Elton John's baby with his civil Partner David Furnish.

They are now defending this action, saying that it was required to 'balance' the coverage.

[ profile] mercury_phoenix has sent a letter to the BBC in protest and [ profile] sparkindarkness  has summed up the WTF far better than I ever could, so all I'm going to say is that having this asshat comment on a gay couple having a baby is offensive, disgusting, homophobic and generally makes me want to stop the planet so that I can get off.  

This is not a question of 'balance', BBC, this is a question of human rights, freedoms, and dignity, three topics that you obviously are as versed in as I am in Sanskrit. 

As everyone who reads this should know, I'm pansexual.  I am attracted to personalities, not physical appearance.  I can appreciate someone whom society tells me is beautiful, but their gender enters into it only as an afterthought.  In addition to this, I don't believe in monogamy.  While I'm very committed to those whom I love, I don't allow jealousy or possessiveness.  Period.  I'm not an object - I'm a human being.  And so are those whom I love and/or have sex with.

There are those who feel that my identity as a human being is immoral, that a person should only love one person of the opposite gender (or only one person, as I am discriminated against by some gay, lesbian and bisexual persons as well for not being monogamous).  People look down on me for being free with my sexuality. 

They tell me that I'm immoral, but they never adequately explain how or why.  Why is it immoral for me to love more than one person?  Hell, so long as everyone practices safe sex (in the interests of public health), why is it immoral for me to fuck every person I feel sexually attracted to?  

Who am I hurting?  So long as I am not an unsafe sex-practicing carrier of disease and make no promises that I can't or won't keep, how does my identity as a human being hurt anyone else?  I'm honest, up-front and completely open with who I am.  

Who am I hurting?  No one.  But there are those who feel that my sex life is their business and that they have a right to control me in the name of a morality to which I don't subscribe.

To me, something is moral if it causes no direct harm to anyone else.  It is moral if everyone is adult and it is consensual.  It is moral if it is honest. 

My identity is moral.  Period. 
Under the cut is an incredibly long exploration of possible reasons why our society sees certain identities as immoral, as well as the possible causes of GLBTQP identities. (WARNING: This will likely be offensive to some of you, but I do have a method to my madness. I hope. If I fail, please let me know how, because I tried really hard not to fail with this post.) There is also an examination of the differences between civilized and uncivilized human beings.  )
So when you tell me that I'm less than human because your 'morality' tells you so, I reject your morality.  I reject your primitive version of civilization.  I reject your identity as an asshat, because again, unless you are a born asshat (i.e., a psychopath), you can choose to be a decent, civilized human being instead.  

I didn't choose my sexual identity, but I did choose my identity as a decent, civilized and ultimately (despite my many, many failings) moral human being.  

ETA: I'm rather glad that I thought of something cool to post about for my 600th entry, :).
A friend linked me to Birth Or Not, which is a site where a couple is taking a vote as to whether or not they should abort their pregnancy.  It is their third pregnancy; the last two ended in miscarriage. 

My friend sent this to me so that I could rant about it and I have to say, my first instinct was, "DO NOT WANT", for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that it's none of my business.  It's not.  It is 100% not my business.

Pete and Alisha made it my business when they put up a website asking me to vote on whether or not they should reproduce. )

The rights of the born outweigh the rights of the unborn and my rights and feelings end where your body begins.  Just as your rights and your feelings end where my body begins.


ETA 2/7/11: From the site - Voting has been closed. You're votes were herd. We are keeping the baby.

Hopefully, they'll teach him or her how to proofread.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but men are human beings, right?  Which means that the following sentence:

plus he is not attracted to the male species.

is incorrect or at the very least, incomplete.  One could say, "He is not attracted to the male OF the species," or, "He is not attracted to the male of the Vulcan species." (Note: I did not see this line in a Star Trek story - Vulcan was just the most ubiquitous alien I could think of.)

However, saying, "plus he is not attracted to the male species."  breaks my brain for one very simple reason:


Okay, this started off as a mini-fanficrant and turned into a continuation of my "Am I Third Gendered" post, so, um. Yeah. That happened. I'm still confused, still questioning and still unable to figure out which box to check. The LONG exploration of that confusion is under the cut. Also, I have a strong feeling that some may find parts of this triggery or offensive and for that, I sincerely apologize. This is what my brain spat out. Read at your own risk.  )

I'm feeling frustrated and even more confused than when I started this, so here's where I am for now:

I think that I'm a human being who honestly doesn't care about genitals or gender identity as anything other than an aside to who someone is as a person.  I feel that biology dictates only what we allow it to and that, we as a species need to move past worrying so much about biology if we want to continue truly evolving beyond our animal roots.  
Not crediting where I got this because I've seen it more than one place.   Also, since some of this commentary is negative, I don't want to single anyone out, as it's not directed at anyone who's posted this.  If it's in italics, it's mine.  

Obituary printed in the London Times - Interesting and sadly rather true.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
Cut for length and references to child rape. )

I have a problem with seeing this passed around without looking at deeper contexts and situations.  Not everything is so black-and-white as this would have you believe.  I know that all of you know that (at least I hope you do), but I really felt as though it should be examined before I continued passing it around. 
It's very easy to say that these things are common sense and some of them still are, but I just didn't feel as though I could allow some of the sweeping generalizations found in here to pass without comment.

To those who have posted it recently, please don't think that this is in any way an attack on you personally for having posted it.  It's not meant as one, and if you feel that it is, then I sincerely

ETA: As [ profile] alt_universe_me just pointed out, why does Common Sense have to be male?  It's a gender-neutral concept - why did there have to be male pronouns to denote it?  I realize it was an obituary and so the person writing it might have felt the need to anthropomorphize it a bit, but even so - sexist language is sexist. 

Porn Studio Extends Deal For HIV-Positive Actor

Cut for length. )

So where am I going wrong here?  I feel certain that I am, somewhere, but I just feel that unless you are in a relationship with the same partner or partners all the time, condom use is a must to prevent the spread of all diseases, not just HIV, to society.  Again, I'm not saying that they don't have the right to live their lives as they choose, but asking them to use condoms  doesn't seem unreasonable to me.  

So I'm over at [ profile] ontd_political, reading this post with live election results, and my brain breaks.

It's broken forever, poppets.  When a proposition in MO TO BAN  FUCKING PUPPY MILLS can't pass, my faith in the humanity of my fellow man in this country has taken a sharp dive straight into the Grand Canyon. 

Not to mention that my Governor, Ted Strickland, lost.  Meaning the my vote, DIDN'T FUCKING COUNT.  And don't give me some shit about how every vote counts.  If he lost by one vote or one million, he still fucking lost, making my state even more fucked up than it was before.

The only thing that gives me any shred of hope is that politicians fucking suck at doing anything. Oh, wait - that's DEMOCRATS.

Republicans are fucking aces at getting shit done.  Too bad it's mostly racist, homophobic, pro-rich, anti-environment pro-corporate shit.

Oh, and if you voted Republican and you make less than $250,000 a year?  Congratulations, you've voted against your own self-interest and in favor of the party that wants to turn back the clock to the 1950's (except, y'know, the part where the rich paid 90% taxes).

Fuck you, U.S.  Fuck you and the fail!boat you've decided to sail on.

As I alluded to in my previous post, lately I've been coming to suspect that on top of every other odd thing I have going on with me, I might also be third-gendered.  Not transgendered, as I have no desire whatsoever to be male except from a curiosity stanpoint, but more that I don't fit into a classically female role and never have. 

Cut for length and an in-depth discussion of my sexual identiy and preferences. )

I thought about screening comments to protect privacy, but I feel that there is a good opportunity for discussion in this post and want to provide a forum to allow that.  If you have something to say to me that you would prefer not be seen by others, please just PM me.  Given the subject matter (and though I hate to do so, since no one who regularly comments on my journal is an asshat) I'm also going to issue a preemptive warning that all discussion must remain respectful or I won't hesitate to either screen comments that I feel are inappropriate (or leave a comment screened if you aren't on my friend's list).   That said, please feel free to comment even if you don't agree with me or think I'm completely full of shit, as so long as you're cool about it, I really want to hear every perspective on this subject.  I'm still figuring this out and could use all the help I can get.

One final thing - please don't delete any comments you make to this post.  If you later decide that you don't want what you say here to be seen, just ask and I'll screen them, but I'd really like any and all thoughts to remain at least for me to see.  Also, I get e-mail notifications, so once a comment is made it's mine forever anyway, :).


To all of you out there reading this, I'm not normal.  I'm not neurotypical and I'm on the autism spectrum.  I've always been this way - I just didn't have a name for it until very, very recently.

Before you ask, I'm self-diagnosed.  But if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's fucking Aspergers, m'kay?

Am I bitter?  Little bit.  All my life I've been fucking weird, felt like an outsider and like there was a whole world that I just couldn't understand and I just got to find out that I probably never will.

There's no real treatment for what I have, no magic pill or therapy to make the walls come down and help me to actually understand what most of the population takes for granted.  

I never get to know...  So many fucking things.  I get to feel like I'm on the outside looking in and never really understand...  I'm repeating myself there, but I'm typing this while I'm crying and just...
Holy fuck this is long. Possibly the longest post I've ever put up here that wasn't a story. So long that I don't even know if LJ will take it. And I'm not reading over this before I post it, so there will be typos liekwhoa. Also, non-graphic trigger warning for those who have ever felt like outsiders or like the world could never understand them. Read at your own risk. But you should be doing that already if you're here, so I guess that read if you want to would be more appropriate. )

I have this odd urge to just write "The End," even though it would be abrupt and odd. 

The End.


PS I'm screening comments, 'cause that's just how I'm rolling on this one.

Okay, everyone - I'd love your opinions on this:

New York Asks to Bar Use of Food Stamps to Buy Sodas



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