Correct me if I'm wrong, but men are human beings, right?  Which means that the following sentence:

plus he is not attracted to the male species.

is incorrect or at the very least, incomplete.  One could say, "He is not attracted to the male OF the species," or, "He is not attracted to the male of the Vulcan species." (Note: I did not see this line in a Star Trek story - Vulcan was just the most ubiquitous alien I could think of.)

However, saying, "plus he is not attracted to the male species."  breaks my brain for one very simple reason:

MEN ARE NOT A DIFFERENT SPECIES!  IT'S MALE GENDER, NOT SPECIES.  

Okay, this started off as a mini-fanficrant and turned into a continuation of my "Am I Third Gendered" post, so, um. Yeah. That happened. I'm still confused, still questioning and still unable to figure out which box to check. The LONG exploration of that confusion is under the cut. Also, I have a strong feeling that some may find parts of this triggery or offensive and for that, I sincerely apologize. This is what my brain spat out. Read at your own risk.  )

I'm feeling frustrated and even more confused than when I started this, so here's where I am for now:

I think that I'm a human being who honestly doesn't care about genitals or gender identity as anything other than an aside to who someone is as a person.  I feel that biology dictates only what we allow it to and that, we as a species need to move past worrying so much about biology if we want to continue truly evolving beyond our animal roots.  
To all of you out there reading this, I'm not normal.  I'm not neurotypical and I'm on the autism spectrum.  I've always been this way - I just didn't have a name for it until very, very recently.

Before you ask, I'm self-diagnosed.  But if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's fucking Aspergers, m'kay?

Am I bitter?  Little bit.  All my life I've been fucking weird, felt like an outsider and like there was a whole world that I just couldn't understand and I just got to find out that I probably never will.

There's no real treatment for what I have, no magic pill or therapy to make the walls come down and help me to actually understand what most of the population takes for granted.  

I never get to know...  So many fucking things.  I get to feel like I'm on the outside looking in and never really understand...  I'm repeating myself there, but I'm typing this while I'm crying and just...
Holy fuck this is long. Possibly the longest post I've ever put up here that wasn't a story. So long that I don't even know if LJ will take it. And I'm not reading over this before I post it, so there will be typos liekwhoa. Also, non-graphic trigger warning for those who have ever felt like outsiders or like the world could never understand them. Read at your own risk. But you should be doing that already if you're here, so I guess that read if you want to would be more appropriate. )



I have this odd urge to just write "The End," even though it would be abrupt and odd. 

The End.

...

PS I'm screening comments, 'cause that's just how I'm rolling on this one.

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