Inspired by more than one comment on the post that this post links to, I'm finally going to weigh in on the whole anti-PC, thought-police, this-word-has-another-meaning-and-no-one-can-own-a-word, I-don't have-to-change-simply-because-you're-offended school of thought.

I'm going to begin by saying that I'm guilty of using pretty much every word that is at issue at one point or another, some as recently as last year, so I'm not saying that I'm not in a glass house here. 

However.

For those who are against changing their language to remove certain words from their vocabularies because another person is offended by it, I ask the following question:

Who does it hurt? 

Seriously, who does it hurt to make the effort not to use words that others have found offensive?  I know that it's an effort to do so, so I guess someone could argue that it's hurting them by virtue of the fact that changing one's vocabulary and deleting certain words is hella difficult...  Well, I have to say that it's more difficult in the offline world, but online?  It's as easy as being careful of what one types.  I realize that for some, who type as quickly as they think, that could be a challenge, but seriously?  Who does it hurt?  Why is it such a big deal to just not be an asshat when someone asks you to do so?

( Cut for possible triggers and an incomplete list of incredibly offensive slurs that everyone should know not to use. Ever.  )And because I've been educating myself a bunch lately, here are a bunch of links that all say all of this a lot better than I just did.

101 Primer

sparkindarkness' entire journal.

Read all of that and then come back to discuss, if you wish, :).

ETA: Proof that not being an asshat is an ongoing battle: Weak is ableist.  Thank you to 51stcenturyfox  for letting me know, :).

ETA 2: My comment thread on the post that started all of this is here. 

ETA 3: Drama communities are probably not the best place to start, lol, but if it were not for them I never would have found most of this stuff out, which is why I mentioned them.  The best place to start is with the 101 Primer and go from there, :).

This post has now been edited because my essential message was being lost and I was doing more harm than good by defending my position on one phrase.  Most of the comments regarding that phrase have now been screened.  I'm not a PoC, so my feelings on that phrase don't matter whatsoever and continuing to argue about it only detracts from the essential point of what I was trying to say. 

I apologize for the drama.

For the record I am US-born, white, queer though I easily pass for both female and straight, and able-bodied.  I have no personal experience with physical, racial or ethnic discrimination and I apologize for speaking for those groups as if I were personally invested in those particular slurs not being used.

The areas in which I have personal experience and/or a personal investment include: feminism/sexim, sex work, body image/food, sexual freedom, BGLTQP rights/homophobia, bullying, child abuse, the US foster care system, the US health care system, PTSD, anxiety, depression and mental health.  

Please, sign this petition to get South Africa to declare corrective rape a hate crime.

Also, please signal boost this if you can.

Thank you.

A friend of mine who is a breastfeeding mom tagged me in this note today because "The Leaky Boob's" Facebook page was deleted for 'violation of terms of service' whatever the heck that means, :(. 

Please show your support for the rights of breastfeeding women everywhere and "like" Bring Back The Leaky Boob on Facebook.

For the record, anyone who tries to stop a woman from breastfeeding is an asshat and anyone who thinks that pictures of a woman breastfeeding are somehow 'adult' is a sick, sad individual, :(.

Yeah, yeah, I know, it's kind of funny that such a rabid atheist is saying the first part, but here's the thing:

"Muslim Terrorist" on Air Malta Plane Turns Out To Be Carribean Christian

When you say that one group is somehow scarier than another just because of the god they pray to (or what they look like or how they act), mistakes like this will happen, especially if you have the racist viewpoint that anyone who looks a certain way belongs to that faith. 

( Cut for length and futher discussion. )

This isn't rocket science.  It's shit that all of us have been told at one point or another and yet we keep spreading that same fear of anyone who isn't heteronormative, white and Christian.  

People suck. 

Seen on facebook today, the status of a friend of mine:

If you exclude people from your civil society, don't expect them to care much about its issues and/or pending demise...

All I could think was - THIS.  
( Cut for length and rage. )

I'm not going to beg heteronormative society for a place within it.  I'm happy living on the fringe if it means I don't have to hide who I am in the name of 'fitting in'.  And I can feel nearly-guilt-free Schadenfreude when discrimination and hypocrisy come back to bite the mainstream hard on its self-righteous ass.  

Also, Senator McCain owes Admiral Mullen an apology.

U.S. judge says lesbians can be 'cured' by male soldiers.

( Cut for my bad reaction and rape triggers. )

Stupid fuckstick. 

As everyone who reads this should know, I'm pansexual.  I am attracted to personalities, not physical appearance.  I can appreciate someone whom society tells me is beautiful, but their gender enters into it only as an afterthought.  In addition to this, I don't believe in monogamy.  While I'm very committed to those whom I love, I don't allow jealousy or possessiveness.  Period.  I'm not an object - I'm a human being.  And so are those whom I love and/or have sex with.

There are those who feel that my identity as a human being is immoral, that a person should only love one person of the opposite gender (or only one person, as I am discriminated against by some gay, lesbian and bisexual persons as well for not being monogamous).  People look down on me for being free with my sexuality. 

They tell me that I'm immoral, but they never adequately explain how or why.  Why is it immoral for me to love more than one person?  Hell, so long as everyone practices safe sex (in the interests of public health), why is it immoral for me to fuck every person I feel sexually attracted to?  

Who am I hurting?  So long as I am not an unsafe sex-practicing carrier of disease and make no promises that I can't or won't keep, how does my identity as a human being hurt anyone else?  I'm honest, up-front and completely open with who I am.  

Who am I hurting?  No one.  But there are those who feel that my sex life is their business and that they have a right to control me in the name of a morality to which I don't subscribe.

To me, something is moral if it causes no direct harm to anyone else.  It is moral if everyone is adult and it is consensual.  It is moral if it is honest. 

My identity is moral.  Period. 
(  Under the cut is an incredibly long exploration of possible reasons why our society sees certain identities as immoral, as well as the possible causes of GLBTQP identities. (WARNING: This will likely be offensive to some of you, but I do have a method to my madness. I hope. If I fail, please let me know how, because I tried really hard not to fail with this post.) There is also an examination of the differences between civilized and uncivilized human beings.  )
So when you tell me that I'm less than human because your 'morality' tells you so, I reject your morality.  I reject your primitive version of civilization.  I reject your identity as an asshat, because again, unless you are a born asshat (i.e., a psychopath), you can choose to be a decent, civilized human being instead.  

I didn't choose my sexual identity, but I did choose my identity as a decent, civilized and ultimately (despite my many, many failings) moral human being.  


ETA: I'm rather glad that I thought of something cool to post about for my 600th entry, :).

Correct me if I'm wrong, but men are human beings, right?  Which means that the following sentence:

plus he is not attracted to the male species.

is incorrect or at the very least, incomplete.  One could say, "He is not attracted to the male OF the species," or, "He is not attracted to the male of the Vulcan species." (Note: I did not see this line in a Star Trek story - Vulcan was just the most ubiquitous alien I could think of.)

However, saying, "plus he is not attracted to the male species."  breaks my brain for one very simple reason:

MEN ARE NOT A DIFFERENT SPECIES!  IT'S MALE GENDER, NOT SPECIES.  

( Okay, this started off as a mini-fanficrant and turned into a continuation of my "Am I Third Gendered" post, so, um. Yeah. That happened. I'm still confused, still questioning and still unable to figure out which box to check. The LONG exploration of that confusion is under the cut. Also, I have a strong feeling that some may find parts of this triggery or offensive and for that, I sincerely apologize. This is what my brain spat out. Read at your own risk.  )

I'm feeling frustrated and even more confused than when I started this, so here's where I am for now:

I think that I'm a human being who honestly doesn't care about genitals or gender identity as anything other than an aside to who someone is as a person.  I feel that biology dictates only what we allow it to and that, we as a species need to move past worrying so much about biology if we want to continue truly evolving beyond our animal roots.