DVD Commentary Meme
Nov. 4th, 2010 12:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
teleen_fictionSaw this on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wendymr's journal and it just looked cool, so I ganked.
Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
Bonus points to those who pick fics that are less than 500 words, as you'll get the entire process of the fic, :). Actually, pick anything - this just sounds cool and since it might even get my creative juices flowing, if you like my writing and want to see more, have at!
wendymr's journal and it just looked cool, so I ganked. Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
Bonus points to those who pick fics that are less than 500 words, as you'll get the entire process of the fic, :). Actually, pick anything - this just sounds cool and since it might even get my creative juices flowing, if you like my writing and want to see more, have at!
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no subject
Date: 2010-11-04 05:00 am (UTC)(Yeah clearly I'm not one of them)
For the actual meme thing, my fave of your ficlets :)
Tosh’s Revenge
“What the hell did you do?” Jack shouted and immediately took a breath to calm down when he saw the stricken look on Tosh’s face. He lowered his voice. “What happened?”
She still looked ready to bolt, but answered him softly, “You remember that I had to hack into UNIT for that information on-“
Jack nodded impatiently, cutting her off. “Yeah, I remember. I also remember telling you to make sure that you didn’t leave any evidence that you’d been there!”
“I did! There’s no way that they can track it here!”
Jack looked at her. “Tosh. Where else will they track it?”
“To that group of hackers we were looking at last month. You know, the ones who had those pictures of you and that ambassador from-“
“I thought we were going to save those guys for when something really serious came up.”
Tosh looked sheepish. “I just couldn’t resist.”
Jack considered. When he really thought about it, it was pretty funny. Still
.
“All right, but the next time you get the urge to send all of UNIT’s top brass to Antarctica instead of the U.N., don’t. Just. Don’t.”
Tosh snickered, her relief obvious. “I won’t, promise.”
Jack snorted.
no subject
Date: 2010-11-04 05:15 am (UTC)“What the hell did you do?” Jack shouted and immediately took a breath to calm down when he saw the stricken look on Tosh’s face. He lowered his voice. “What happened?”
When I got this prompt, I had no clue how to write it. I wanted it to be humorous, with only a hint of angst. I was really careful with the interactions between Jack and Tosh here because I had a feeling he'd be upset, but also wouldn't want to scare her.
She still looked ready to bolt, but answered him softly, “You remember that I had to hack into UNIT for that information on-“
Jack nodded impatiently, cutting her off. “Yeah, I remember. I also remember telling you to make sure that you didn’t leave any evidence that you’d been there!”
“I did! There’s no way that they can track it here!”
Jack looked at her. “Tosh. Where else will they track it?”
“To that group of hackers we were looking at last month. You know, the ones who had those pictures of you and that ambassador from-“
I had a hell of a time coming up with a scenario that would be plausible for the story and yet not bog it down. Tosh framing some hackers with naughty footage of Jack is pretty weak in retrospect, but it was all I could come up with. Did I mention I had a difficult time with this prompt?
“I thought we were going to save those guys for when something really serious came up.”
Tosh looked sheepish. “I just couldn’t resist.”
Jack considered. When he really thought about it, it was pretty funny. Still
Nice lost period there. I really should get a beta when I do these short fics. Nah - it's more fun to get them out quickly, :).
“All right, but the next time you get the urge to send all of UNIT’s top brass to Antarctica instead of the U.N., don’t. Just. Don’t.”
Tosh snickered, her relief obvious. “I won’t, promise.”
Jack snorted.
I could see Tosh seeing an opportunity for a little (mostly) harmless revenge and taking it. I really couldn't see her actually hurting anyone, but greatly inconveniencing them? Definitely. And I could also see Jack letting her off the hook about it, no matter how initially irritated he was.
Honestly, looking back, this is one of my weakest stories, really. I should maybe take another look at that prompt and see if I can do something better...
no subject
Date: 2010-11-04 05:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-04 05:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-04 08:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-05 12:24 am (UTC)Tosh and Ianto (the two with the least screen time I'm pretty sure) were the ones who really made the show great for me.
Love Jack, of course, he was a great character right from the DW episodes he was in.
Didn't like Owen 99% of the time but then I don't think we were supposed to.
and Gwen...well Gwen is Gwen, I don't rabidly hate her (like some parts of fandom) but I prefer Tosh.
Wow that got long didn't it, oops ^^
Meant to comment the other day, hope this isn't too late...
Date: 2010-11-06 12:59 am (UTC)Tosh was stroking her hands softly over his welts, kissing them again and then gently parting his cheeks to expose his hole. He felt something warm and wet and… Gods! Tosh was licking him. It wasn’t the first time he’d been rimmed, but he honestly couldn’t remember a woman ever doing it to him before. It was astonishing, really, that there was actually something for which he was… well, a virgin.
Not that any part of him was virgin territory anymore, but still, he was awed by the idea that she was doing something that no other female had ever done for him before.
Tosh made a particularly wonderful motion with her tongue, distracting him, and her tongue was teasing its way inside, lapping at him. His cock was telling him in no uncertain terms that despite the multiple orgasms he’d had today, it was more than ready for another.
But what he was feeling from his Masters told him that they wanted to draw this out, to make it… last. They wanted to wring every last ounce of pleasure from him that they could. He decided to relax and enjoy it.
Tosh’s mouth was kissing, nipping and licking him, working that tender part of him in a way that made him feel both incredibly open and incredibly cherished. She was enjoying this, enjoying the feeling of her mouth pleasuring him there, enjoying it when her tongue delved inside to taste him.
~~~~~~~and~~~~~~~~~~~~
His final climax left him shuddering into the pillows, too exhausted to even muster a whimper as she withdrew from him. Together his Masters eased him onto his back, cleaning him up, holding him and stroking him as he trembled in reaction.
He loved the feeling of their hands on him, their gentleness such a contrast to the roughness of the morning that without warning he was weeping against them. He was blasted open, all semblance of control he might have had vanished like a mote of dust in a rainstorm. They held him, murmuring soothing words to him.
He’d wept so much these last two weeks. It was something he’d gotten out of the habit of since the day that Gray was taken. Crying was showing weakness and in the glacially cold house he’d shared with his mother, any admission of weakness was something to invite scorn and ridicule.
Since he’d gotten his memory back it seemed like all he could do anymore was cry. But then, Tosh and Ianto made it easy for him to let go, to release his pain, and to get it all out. He never felt that they judged him when he broke down, never felt anything from them but sympathy when he sobbed in their arms.
They weren’t going to punish him for his weakness and, he realized, didn’t see this as weakness at all. To them, it was perfectly understandable that he’d break down for no good reason at all. And they both felt that way. They both felt nothing but protectiveness and grief for him when he lost control like this.
He was safe with his Masters.
Or, if you don't want to talk about that, feel free to just tell me anything about your process with TPS. :)
Re: Meant to comment the other day, hope this isn't too late...
Date: 2010-11-06 02:04 am (UTC)Well, I'd actually only planned to write the fisting here, as I've fisted someone before, but never rimmed anyone, but somehow it just really seemed appropriate. I really felt as though after what had happened that morning, Tosh would want to *submit* to Jack in the only way she could. Plus, I've read about it in other stories and have been rimmed, so I thought I could write it, :).
As for the crying, while it never seemed like Jack was afraid to cry on the show, exactly, I do think that he might have been somewhat used to having to bottle up his pain and with the way his world had been turned upside down in the past couple of weeks, it really seemed like most of his usual barriers would be gone now. Not to mention that he genuinely trusts and feels comfortable with them, despite several voices inside him telling him it's a bad idea, which makes it a lot easier for him to cry.
I really didn't mean to write Jack crying so much, but the mood swings seemed like they would really fit given what he's been through and I generally only wrote it in when I truly felt that he would react that way.
While I don't think he would ever feel that crying was in any way 'unmanly' (we did see him cry several times on the show, after all), he probably still doesn't feel that it's appropriate for a solider to really let go like this. In TPS, his PTSD isn't giving him a choice, :(. Sometimes the pain is going to overwhelm him and this is the best way to get it out.
In the future, his ways of dealing with it may be less healthy, :(, but hopefully Tosh and Ianto will catch it before it gets that far.
Re: Meant to comment the other day, hope this isn't too late...
Date: 2010-11-06 01:53 pm (UTC)I think you handle the crying really well. I know there are some people that say male characters would never cry that much, but I agree with you that it's realistic in the scenarios you write. And yeah, Jack being from the 51st century and all, I don't think he would have the same hang-ups about crying as we do in this century. And he's just a very emotional guy in the show I think to, which only serves to endear him more to me. :)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me :)