Why I Read/Write Hurt/Comfort
Jun. 19th, 2010 04:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
teleen_fictionI'm a trauma survivor and reading well-written trauma recovery fictional stories comforts me. So why don't I read about real life survivors? It hurts me too much to do so.
Fictional characters are fictional. They don't exist, except in our imaginations. Real people are real and reading about real pain used to hurt me too much for me to do so.
Trauma recovery is a process that is different for everyone. For me, it began with a fascination with fiction that spoke to me and what I'd been through. Keep in mind, this was long before I'd acknowledged what I'd been through or how much it was still affecting me. Hurt/comfort fiction has helped me to get to a place where I can begin to deal with my issues and, just recently, actually start to seek out the stories of other real life survivors.
It hurt me too much to do so before, because acknowledging what happened to them meant acknowledging what happened to me. I'm getting better day-by-day, but my recovery is still in progress.
You'll notice earlier that I said 'well-written'. I have zero respect for those who don't have respect for what they are writing about. Again, trauma recovery is a process that is unique to each individual. I've already expounded upon the subject of bad recovery fiction at length here, so I'm not going to go any more deeply into it.
Some of you are aware of the recent controversy regarding![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
hc_bingo. In that controversy, those who read hurt/comfort fiction were often told that we were wrong for doing so, so I felt the need to defend myself and my reasons for reading it. I shouldn't have to defend myself. Nor should anyone else, so long as they are treating the subject matter with respect.
Unfortunately, I cannot deny that many authors do not. I can't speak for them, but I will speak to them:
The next time that you write about something horrible happening to a character, think about the same thing happening to a loved one and try to write about it with the same respect that you would show to your loved one.
If you wish to be more involved in the debate, there is a link roundup here.
I realize how subdued this response must seem, how dispassionate, but in this one case, all I can say is what it means to me. I will not pass judgment on those who spoke out against the bingo cards in particular or the genre in general, as in many cases they had valid points. In addition, denying them their right to deal with their pain in their own way would be as wrong as if they attempted to stop me from dealing with mine in my way.
So what about those people who haven't had anything really bad happen to them and yet still read hurt/comfort for whatever reason? I can't comment on them except to say that I support to the right of everyone to read and write whatever they choose so long as they treat the subject matter with respect. If they do not, they should expect to be called out on it.
Fictional characters are fictional. They don't exist, except in our imaginations. Real people are real and reading about real pain used to hurt me too much for me to do so.
Trauma recovery is a process that is different for everyone. For me, it began with a fascination with fiction that spoke to me and what I'd been through. Keep in mind, this was long before I'd acknowledged what I'd been through or how much it was still affecting me. Hurt/comfort fiction has helped me to get to a place where I can begin to deal with my issues and, just recently, actually start to seek out the stories of other real life survivors.
It hurt me too much to do so before, because acknowledging what happened to them meant acknowledging what happened to me. I'm getting better day-by-day, but my recovery is still in progress.
You'll notice earlier that I said 'well-written'. I have zero respect for those who don't have respect for what they are writing about. Again, trauma recovery is a process that is unique to each individual. I've already expounded upon the subject of bad recovery fiction at length here, so I'm not going to go any more deeply into it.
Some of you are aware of the recent controversy regarding
hc_bingo. In that controversy, those who read hurt/comfort fiction were often told that we were wrong for doing so, so I felt the need to defend myself and my reasons for reading it. I shouldn't have to defend myself. Nor should anyone else, so long as they are treating the subject matter with respect.Unfortunately, I cannot deny that many authors do not. I can't speak for them, but I will speak to them:
The next time that you write about something horrible happening to a character, think about the same thing happening to a loved one and try to write about it with the same respect that you would show to your loved one.
If you wish to be more involved in the debate, there is a link roundup here.
I realize how subdued this response must seem, how dispassionate, but in this one case, all I can say is what it means to me. I will not pass judgment on those who spoke out against the bingo cards in particular or the genre in general, as in many cases they had valid points. In addition, denying them their right to deal with their pain in their own way would be as wrong as if they attempted to stop me from dealing with mine in my way.
So what about those people who haven't had anything really bad happen to them and yet still read hurt/comfort for whatever reason? I can't comment on them except to say that I support to the right of everyone to read and write whatever they choose so long as they treat the subject matter with respect. If they do not, they should expect to be called out on it.
