I understand depression well. I try and stay positive about the things in my life but, even through medication, my mental illness can break through and I'm sleeping 20 hours a day for 2 weeks straight. And without a support system (such as you were for your husband) I would not be able to survive. I've thought a lot about the fact that I've been a drain on society. I freely admit it. American tax dollars come into my bank account every month. I am, however, using those tax dollars to live off of while I go to university so I can change from being a drain on society into being a productive member of society. And this is a life long battle with mental illness. I don't get a break. I deal with it every day. And while not an excuse, my depression, when I have it, is a reason for my action/inaction. It's as much a part of me as breathing. Those were the cards I was dealt. I'm trying to make the best of it.
Your husband's depression (my condolences, btw. It's never easy on a care giver) is something you were willing to accept instead of divorcing him. Not so with an unwanted pregnancy. To use your example, they choose to divorce (abortion). Is it morally right? Hey, I'm the last one to speak on morality so I'll just keep my mouth shut on that subject, except to say that those morals that we have differ from person to person (such as your opinion and my opinion on this particular subject. Our morals tell us if/when it's acceptable and not acceptable.)
And the socio-economics of raising a child in a low-income vs. a moderate-income is vastly different as far as statistics go for if that child will grow up to repeat their mother's mistake. Maybe it shouldn't be about money, but it is a part of the equation. Sad really, but true.
I also think, though we didn't touch on this, that if the father wants to keep the child, and can find a suitable surrogate for the fetus, then they should be allowed to keep the child and raise it. But again, that's choosing a child and making a commitment that they want. Not one that's forced upon them by anyone else.
Unfortunately, here in America we now seem to have 2 conservative parties (Republicans and Tea Partier) and funding the places like Planned Parenthood who would provide education (to schools, if invited, or to individuals who come in and ask [but sex is such a taboo subject here that someone wiling to walk in off the streets to educate themselves is rare]) are having their government funding cut to next to nothing. It's all "Abstain until you're married!" Right like that's stopped any teenager (including those high and mighty teenage Republicans and Tea Partiers) from having premaritial sex. Look at Sarah Palin's daughter. Big Republican, told her daughters nothing about sex but not to do it, and then they go and do it. Frustrating to an extreme. So taking sensible precautions isn't really an option for most teenagers or adults here in the US.
It's a sad state of affairs when we can't even talk to our own kids about sex and give them precautionary measures to keep them from getting someone/getting themselves pregnant. Case in point: A conservative government funded group put out an ad campaign that showed a father miming pulling on a rope, against a great force trying to push him back, as he slowly made his way towards his young daughter. The message they gave: "We know it's hard to talk to your kids about sex. You don't have to tell them the specifics, just tell them what you want them to do." !WTF! Children and teenagers don't listen to their parents. Especially about something that every hormone in their body is telling them to do. What kind of message does that send?
Parent: "Stay away from sex it's icky and wrong." Hormones: "Throw him down on the bed and stick it in!!!"
How confusing is that message? Damaging them, it is.
And you're right a child is a commitment that shouldn't be taken lightly. But what about unprotected sex? Shouldn't be taken lightly. But we don't talk about that over here. No, oh no. *welling up of great shame for even thinking about it*
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Date: 2011-06-05 01:16 am (UTC)Your husband's depression (my condolences, btw. It's never easy on a care giver) is something you were willing to accept instead of divorcing him. Not so with an unwanted pregnancy. To use your example, they choose to divorce (abortion). Is it morally right? Hey, I'm the last one to speak on morality so I'll just keep my mouth shut on that subject, except to say that those morals that we have differ from person to person (such as your opinion and my opinion on this particular subject. Our morals tell us if/when it's acceptable and not acceptable.)
And the socio-economics of raising a child in a low-income vs. a moderate-income is vastly different as far as statistics go for if that child will grow up to repeat their mother's mistake. Maybe it shouldn't be about money, but it is a part of the equation. Sad really, but true.
I also think, though we didn't touch on this, that if the father wants to keep the child, and can find a suitable surrogate for the fetus, then they should be allowed to keep the child and raise it. But again, that's choosing a child and making a commitment that they want. Not one that's forced upon them by anyone else.
Unfortunately, here in America we now seem to have 2 conservative parties (Republicans and Tea Partier) and funding the places like Planned Parenthood who would provide education (to schools, if invited, or to individuals who come in and ask [but sex is such a taboo subject here that someone wiling to walk in off the streets to educate themselves is rare]) are having their government funding cut to next to nothing. It's all "Abstain until you're married!" Right like that's stopped any teenager (including those high and mighty teenage Republicans and Tea Partiers) from having premaritial sex. Look at Sarah Palin's daughter. Big Republican, told her daughters nothing about sex but not to do it, and then they go and do it. Frustrating to an extreme. So taking sensible precautions isn't really an option for most teenagers or adults here in the US.
It's a sad state of affairs when we can't even talk to our own kids about sex and give them precautionary measures to keep them from getting someone/getting themselves pregnant. Case in point: A conservative government funded group put out an ad campaign that showed a father miming pulling on a rope, against a great force trying to push him back, as he slowly made his way towards his young daughter. The message they gave: "We know it's hard to talk to your kids about sex. You don't have to tell them the specifics, just tell them what you want them to do." !WTF! Children and teenagers don't listen to their parents. Especially about something that every hormone in their body is telling them to do. What kind of message does that send?
Parent: "Stay away from sex it's icky and wrong."
Hormones: "Throw him down on the bed and stick it in!!!"
How confusing is that message? Damaging them, it is.
And you're right a child is a commitment that shouldn't be taken lightly. But what about unprotected sex? Shouldn't be taken lightly. But we don't talk about that over here. No, oh no. *welling up of great shame for even thinking about it*