It's derailing because you're putting yourself in the position of "educating" someone after you've offended them as to why they shouldn't have been offended in the first place.
I've spoken the rationale behind why we as people shouldn't take offense to obsolete words.
Who are you to decide what someone else should be offended by? I wrote about words that I'd seen other people take offense to and the reasons why they were offended. I don't have a right to go to them and say, "Well, it's an obsolete word anyway. You shouldn't be hurt and offended because..." Not if I don't want to be an asshat, anyway.
We all have a choice during our rational discourse to decide if we're going to take the feelings of other people into consideration before we speak or type. I've found several words and phrases that I find personally offensive (slurs against, BGLTQP persons, the mentally ill, misogynistic language and words that denigrate those who are free and/or charge money for sex or sex-related services) or words and phrases that I've observed others being offended by.
Now, I have no right to speak for those others (and should not have presumed to do so in this post, come to think of it) - they are perfectly capable of speaking for themselves. Not everyone is offended by the same things, either.
However.
If I'm interacting with someone and I say or write something that they find hurtful, it's up to me to decide how I deal with it. I can either apologize and move on or I can say, "I'm sorry if you were offended, but my family's been using that for years and I've never heard of it as a negative before."
If I've hurt someone with what I've said, educating them as to why they shouldn't have been hurt in the first place only hurts them more.
no subject
I've spoken the rationale behind why we as people shouldn't take offense to obsolete words.
Who are you to decide what someone else should be offended by? I wrote about words that I'd seen other people take offense to and the reasons why they were offended. I don't have a right to go to them and say, "Well, it's an obsolete word anyway. You shouldn't be hurt and offended because..." Not if I don't want to be an asshat, anyway.
We all have a choice during our rational discourse to decide if we're going to take the feelings of other people into consideration before we speak or type. I've found several words and phrases that I find personally offensive (slurs against, BGLTQP persons, the mentally ill, misogynistic language and words that denigrate those who are free and/or charge money for sex or sex-related services) or words and phrases that I've observed others being offended by.
Now, I have no right to speak for those others (and should not have presumed to do so in this post, come to think of it) - they are perfectly capable of speaking for themselves. Not everyone is offended by the same things, either.
However.
If I'm interacting with someone and I say or write something that they find hurtful, it's up to me to decide how I deal with it. I can either apologize and move on or I can say, "I'm sorry if you were offended, but my family's been using that for years and I've never heard of it as a negative before."
If I've hurt someone with what I've said, educating them as to why they shouldn't have been hurt in the first place only hurts them more.