To say that they meant 'flamboyant' when 'flamboyant' is also seen as a negative for men is splitting hairs, :(.
When I hear someone saying 'gay' (especially gaaaaay) outside of the context of a gay man referring to himself that way, it means 'stupid', 'weird', 'effeminate' (which when applied towards men is seen as a negative) and generally bad.
Using it in casual conversation when it ALSO means homosexual is not cool.
And 'broad' isn't as dated as you think it is, seriously.
Right now, gendered insults reinforce misogyny.
But we were talking about 'gay'. Using 'gay' to mean anything other than homosexual (in a neutral, i.e. he's a gay man or positive, i.e. 'gay and proud' sense) reinforces homophobia.
And again, this entire conversation is splitting hairs because what it really comes down to is being willing to make the effort to reprogram oneself not to use certain language.
It isn't easy and most people don't want to bother to make the effort. It's easier in their minds to argue over how the word used to have another meaning or the old usage is outdated or that they don't mean it negatively when they say it, even if some people take it that way.
"Gay" is near and dear to my heart because a lot of teenagers spend their lives being called "gay" as a negative, because the worst thing in this world is to be seen as homosexual, which is also seen as being less than a man, and are killing themselves over it.
But because some people use it to mean 'awesome', those kids don't matter, :(. That might not be what you meant to say, but that's what I'm hearing when you argue on and on about how you and your friends don't mean it negatively.
I also a bit skeptical of that claim as I've been all over the US and have never heard 'gay' as 'awesome' (unless it was a sarcastic 'awesome'). Anywhere. Every time I've heard gay being used to refer to anyone but a gay man who was self-referencing, it's been thrown out as a negative, with the subtle undertone that 'gay' is inherently bad because it's connected with homosexuality.
Plus, I never mentioned either trollop or broad - I only brought up words that are in common slang use today, but it was a good misdirect from my essential point.
Words have meanings: first do no harm. If you want to keep saying 'gay' and having the illusion that when you and your friends (or just your friends - you never said that you use it) do it it's not reinforcing homophobia, feel free. It's a free country and no one has the right to stop you. All we have a right to do is tell you what we think. And I think that when you use 'gay' in that fashion, you're reinforcing the idea that being gay is bad and indirectly contributing to every teenager out there who gets bullied by that word (and other homophobic slurs plus physical intimidation over being who they are) into killing themselves.
no subject
When I hear someone saying 'gay' (especially gaaaaay) outside of the context of a gay man referring to himself that way, it means 'stupid', 'weird', 'effeminate' (which when applied towards men is seen as a negative) and generally bad.
Using it in casual conversation when it ALSO means homosexual is not cool.
And 'broad' isn't as dated as you think it is, seriously.
Right now, gendered insults reinforce misogyny.
But we were talking about 'gay'. Using 'gay' to mean anything other than homosexual (in a neutral, i.e. he's a gay man or positive, i.e. 'gay and proud' sense) reinforces homophobia.
And again, this entire conversation is splitting hairs because what it really comes down to is being willing to make the effort to reprogram oneself not to use certain language.
It isn't easy and most people don't want to bother to make the effort. It's easier in their minds to argue over how the word used to have another meaning or the old usage is outdated or that they don't mean it negatively when they say it, even if some people take it that way.
"Gay" is near and dear to my heart because a lot of teenagers spend their lives being called "gay" as a negative, because the worst thing in this world is to be seen as homosexual, which is also seen as being less than a man, and are killing themselves over it.
But because some people use it to mean 'awesome', those kids don't matter, :(. That might not be what you meant to say, but that's what I'm hearing when you argue on and on about how you and your friends don't mean it negatively.
I also a bit skeptical of that claim as I've been all over the US and have never heard 'gay' as 'awesome' (unless it was a sarcastic 'awesome'). Anywhere. Every time I've heard gay being used to refer to anyone but a gay man who was self-referencing, it's been thrown out as a negative, with the subtle undertone that 'gay' is inherently bad because it's connected with homosexuality.
Plus, I never mentioned either trollop or broad - I only brought up words that are in common slang use today, but it was a good misdirect from my essential point.
Words have meanings: first do no harm. If you want to keep saying 'gay' and having the illusion that when you and your friends (or just your friends - you never said that you use it) do it it's not reinforcing homophobia, feel free. It's a free country and no one has the right to stop you. All we have a right to do is tell you what we think. And I think that when you use 'gay' in that fashion, you're reinforcing the idea that being gay is bad and indirectly contributing to every teenager out there who gets bullied by that word (and other homophobic slurs plus physical intimidation over being who they are) into killing themselves.