Best wishes on finding a good way to set this clearly for your husband to understand. After twelve years with him, I'm sure it will help him see why you do some things that worry him so. And I'm glad that dancing works for you, and helps you. They must be good people running it, giving you the right to not come in when you aren't up for it. When I told them I wasn't working Fri/Sat nights, they wanted to argue with me over it, since most girls make the best money on those nights. I couldn't take the constant butt slapping, the collage boys unwilling to spend a dollar on anyone... while taking up all the best seats. When they started to argue with them, I just gave them A Look that must have said plainly that I was serious, and had no intention of working those nights. I worked one Fri from open at 11am to close at 2am and made a take home of $100. I was not a happy camper to have worked so long and not earned more.