There's a perception that childhood is something that's supposed to toughen a person up for the real world and being bullied will make someone stronger
I agree with this to a degree.
A certain amount of taunting wakes you up at an early age to the fact that life isn't smooth and fair and that some people are just self-absorbed, lying shitheads. And, if you've got the right personality and/or enough positive reinforcement from home and your peers, it will teach you that you can be tough and stand up for yourself.
But when it's an unrelenting torrent of abuse that follows you home?
Very, very few children and adolescents have that super-resilient personality, and frankly, love from home isn't enough to strengthen the average kid against it.
And I'll say it now, if you are the parent of a child and it's gotten to the point that your kid says something to you about it, or that you notice something that's really wrong.
1) Don't ever tell your kid to stop whining, or to just try to ignore it. Listen, and then give your kids some suggestions on how to stand up for themselves.
(My dad taught me how to fight. It was 100% clear that I was never to throw the first punch unless somebody pushed me, punched me, or was trying to steal from me. And after that, I was okay fight back with everything I had.)
2) If teaching your kid how to deliver a withering counter-putdown and/or throw a punch isn't enough, talk to the school.
3) Write it down. Any time you make a phone call and/or talk to somebody at the school about the issue, fire off an email to the person you talked to. "This is just to confirm the conversation we had on [date], where you said ...."
4) Lawyer up. If the school doesn't take it seriously, doesn't follow through on their word (remember, you've got those emails to document it), and tries to write off egregious abuse as "kids will be kids" you are going to need a lawyer to remind them that they are in loco parentis and have moral and legal obligations for the health, welfare, and safety of your child. And, depending on the kind of abuse, it can be a Civil Rights issue.
5)If you have to go to the press, or if it gets to the press, on top of pointing out that the kind of sustained, documented abuse your child has received would be illegal in the workplace, but also, the issue at this point is not only your kid, but the fact that letting the bullies get away with behavior like this now sets them up for failure later in life when they get into the workplace and don't know appropriate workplace behavior. This repeated pattern of failure to enforce basic standards of civil behavior shows that the Admin and Board are failing everybody elses' kids.
no subject
I agree with this to a degree.
A certain amount of taunting wakes you up at an early age to the fact that life isn't smooth and fair and that some people are just self-absorbed, lying shitheads. And, if you've got the right personality and/or enough positive reinforcement from home and your peers, it will teach you that you can be tough and stand up for yourself.
But when it's an unrelenting torrent of abuse that follows you home?
Very, very few children and adolescents have that super-resilient personality, and frankly, love from home isn't enough to strengthen the average kid against it.
And I'll say it now, if you are the parent of a child and it's gotten to the point that your kid says something to you about it, or that you notice something that's really wrong.
1) Don't ever tell your kid to stop whining, or to just try to ignore it. Listen, and then give your kids some suggestions on how to stand up for themselves.
(My dad taught me how to fight. It was 100% clear that I was never to throw the first punch unless somebody pushed me, punched me, or was trying to steal from me. And after that, I was okay fight back with everything I had.)
2) If teaching your kid how to deliver a withering counter-putdown and/or throw a punch isn't enough, talk to the school.
3) Write it down. Any time you make a phone call and/or talk to somebody at the school about the issue, fire off an email to the person you talked to. "This is just to confirm the conversation we had on [date], where you said ...."
4) Lawyer up. If the school doesn't take it seriously, doesn't follow through on their word (remember, you've got those emails to document it), and tries to write off egregious abuse as "kids will be kids" you are going to need a lawyer to remind them that they are in loco parentis and have moral and legal obligations for the health, welfare, and safety of your child. And, depending on the kind of abuse, it can be a Civil Rights issue.
5)If you have to go to the press, or if it gets to the press, on top of pointing out that the kind of sustained, documented abuse your child has received would be illegal in the workplace, but also, the issue at this point is not only your kid, but the fact that letting the bullies get away with behavior like this now sets them up for failure later in life when they get into the workplace and don't know appropriate workplace behavior. This repeated pattern of failure to enforce basic standards of civil behavior shows that the Admin and Board are failing everybody elses' kids.