I Wore Purple

[teleen_fiction]

And spent the day with my favorite aunt.  She took me to lunch at my favorite fast food place, Chick-Fil-A and we went to Home Depot, where I helped her buy a toilet (she's renovating my late grandmother's house in anticipation of moving up here).  I had a good day, overall.

Then I came home and found this on facebook:

Michigan Gay College Student Kills Himself

Don't get me wrong, really.  I wasn't expecting the world to magically become a better place because we all wore purple one day.  

Or maybe I was. 

Someone told me recently that I'm too outspoken on this issue, that I should stop telling people who aren't for gay rights to go fuck themselves, that my profile picture (which is the same on facebook as it is here) is too 'in your face' about it, that all I seem to talk about anymore is gay rights and that I'm alienating the people who might be 'on the fence' or who aren't anti-gay, but simply don't think about the issue.  

I can tell you that lately I've found it wearing having this profile picture, because it is so very 'in your face' and sometimes I think I'd rather default to 'Molotov Cocktease', whom I dressed as for Halloween a couple of years ago, or the Fifth Doctor or something that doesn't have 'deeper meaning' or force people to think when they see it.

I'm not going to, though.  As Corey Jackson just proved, the lives of gay teens haven't gotten magically better just because we're talking about them now.  And they won't get better so long as people keep saying that they don't want to have to think about it all the time and that everything I post shouldn't be about gay rights.  Everything I post on facebook isn't about gay rights, but to this person it seemed that way and they basically told me that they don't really read my facebook anymore because of it, though I'm still on their friend's list.

Oh, well. 

Heck, I discovered very recently that someone I'd known for years, whom I reconnected with at our 10 & 15-year HS reunions defriended me without a word, probably because of my stance on this issue and my in-your-face attitude about it.

Too bad. 

I'm not going to stop talking about it and this will remain my default profile picture as long as I can stand it, though there may come a time when it is too much for me to think about every time I log in to here or facebook and I have to change it to something more... neutral.  

But not today.

And not tomorrow. 

Comments

[eve-from-oz.livejournal.com]

not enough headdesk in the world right now - clicked your link to read it and the work internet filter came back with the big red page of blocked website for the following:

Category: Mature Content, Sexual Orientation

brb *headdesking forever*

[teleens-journal.livejournal.com]

See icon.

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

For the Advocate? it's hardly explicit!

[reddwarfer.livejournal.com]

Fuck em, babe.


My mum wore purple today. She's not gay. And she's struggled with my orientation, because of her beliefs and all. But she wore purple today because it mattered to me.

Things take time to change, but nothing changes when people do nothing to change things. So, we gotta keep fighting, keep talking, refuse to let those with privilege ignore it because it's easier for them.

[teleens-journal.livejournal.com]

Thanks, :).

[humantales.livejournal.com]

All of these children, with so much of life before them and so much to offer the world, cutting it short because they feel attacked with no way out.

All of the "days" and all of the assemblies (my son's school, he's 15, had one today, on cyberbullying), and all of the programs in the world won't stop these deaths until we stop the bullies. (Over three years ago, my son was near a "break-down", primarily due to bullying. Fortunately, we caught on to it in time and got him help. We were lucky. His response to being the target of cyberbullying the year before last? More of the same, but, hey, the kids who usually do the bullying stuck up for me. He's not gay, he has Asperger's; I'm not sure if he had it easier or harder. (He's in a program for the autisms at his school that has made his life much easier. To the point that, for the first time since he was six, he has friends.)

I'm quiet. I don't get in people's faces. That kind of attitude bothers me; it's far outside my own comfort levels. That's not a criticism. The only way these things get changed is when people have had enough and get in the faces of those who are trying to prevent change. I can't, but I admire the courage.

This isn't the most coherent post, I know, but good luck. Our children need fighters like you.

[teleens-journal.livejournal.com]

I'm really happy that your son is doing better - I had a lot of bullying issues growing up, for what I know realize was Aspergers or HFA, and I there really weren't any resources back then.

I generally don't get in people's faces either, except online or if I directly witness something fucked up.

Thanks for your support and kind words. They really mean a lot to me, :).

[addled-nutcase.livejournal.com]

I wore purple and had my hubby wear it also!

[teleens-journal.livejournal.com]

Thank you, :).

[eve-from-oz.livejournal.com]

Ok still headdesking but something actually relevant now.

I don't think you're too outspoken, I think the people who say that are probably saying so because you're making them *think* and many people (myself included at times) don't like being made to think about big issues.

As far as I'm concerned people who are "on the fence" about gay rights are saying they don't believe in *human* rights. For me it's on the same level as if they said they were on the fence about gender or racial equality - you either believe everyone should be treated equally based on thier behaviour rather than their gender/sexuality/race/religion (or lack thereof) or you don't.

Re people who defriend you for talking about these things, they're missing out on knowing a wonderful person and it's thier loss.

*hugs*

[teleens-journal.livejournal.com]

Thanks, :).

*hugs back*

[mayphoenix.livejournal.com]

You're on FB? Friend me over there! My name is Tami Marie Alexander. :)

And I'm from Michigan, so hearing about this latest suicide just breaks my heart.

[teleens-journal.livejournal.com]

Friended. :)

[masterde.livejournal.com]

You know, I just knew someone was going to commit suicide on the 20th. It was too tempting of an event for someone to not make a statement. I'm not saying he's a hero or a martyr or that his sacrificing himself wouldn't have happened anyway. I just knew that some gay teen was going to use it as a way to make a protest. I'm frankly surprised that there's not more than one suicide happened. Maybe we just haven't heard about them yet.

I don't think we should stop do things like wearing purple on a certain day to say 'we're tired of bullying.' That's not the answer. This Michigan college student, Corey, was well on the way to suicide. I just can't help but think that maybe if the Day of Anti-Bullying had been at a later date, that Corey would have gone to the Gay/Lesbian Alliance at Michigan State and seen that life wasn't so bad. On the other side of the coin, the more awareness we have of bullying the more likely we are to get it stopped. So sooner is better for some, later is better, possibly, for others. Sooner is probably best for most but it does give a powerfully high platform from which to jump.

It's all a tragedy. Our gay kids being bullied into killing themselves, the fact that the media just calls attention to bullying and not bullying of gay kids, our gay kids seeing that other gay kids are being bullied and killing themselves was their way out so it makes it more okay for them to do it too, this God forsaken Puritan country, this God forsaken homophobic world. All of it.

And so what if you talk about gay and lesbian issues a lot? It's what's on your mind. So talk about it. Anyone who tells you to quiet down and not stir the waters is just a closet homophobe. It's okay to talk about it every once in a while but not all the time? Fuck that and fuck them. Life is too short to have people attempt to sensor you. You talking about LGBTQ issues only once a week or once a month isn't going to change anybody's mind. And those that leave already had their minds made up. They just needed an extra push to get them out the door, and good riddance to them. If they want to be spoon fed fluff then let them get it elsewhere. When you want to be serious then you be serious. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

[teleens-journal.livejournal.com]

He actually committed suicide on the 19, but we heard about it on the 20th. Haven't heard if anyone killed themselves yesterday, :(.

I wasn't saying that we should stop - anything that we do to raise awareness is a good thing.

It's a tragedy that should have been brought to light long before now and we still have a long way to go...

I have no plans to stop being who I am, :).

[scottish-neko.livejournal.com]

Having an opinion/stance and stating it clearly and as articulately as you do is not an 'in your face' thang.
I've dealt with 'in your face, down your throat'; this is not it, IMO.
You are factual and direct, you do not readily shy from stating your opinion and backing it up, which I admire even if I've never said so before.

~Psilence

[teleens-journal.livejournal.com]

*blushes*

Thank you very much, :).

[hawk-soaring.livejournal.com]

Wow... I hadn't seen that article. I'm so deeply saddened by the loss of yet another life. And wearing purple yesterday did matter and everything you do and say matters. I try to live up to my beliefs and if that is forcing them down anyone's throat then they don't need to talk to me. I don't constantly expound on my beliefs ad nauseum but I do point out the wrongness and unfairness that is so rampant is our society.

Be proud.

[teleens-journal.livejournal.com]

Thanks, :).

[haunted1019.livejournal.com]

I know that one day can't magically change everything but increased awareness is a good place to start. Don't stop being passionate and vocal about your opinions. People have really short attention spans, and if things aren't kept front and center, they will move on to the next thing far too quickly.

The increase in teen suicides (especially amongst glbtqp teens) is way too important to just be the cause of the moment.

[teleens-journal.livejournal.com]

The increase in teen suicides (especially amongst glbtqp teens) is way too important to just be the cause of the moment.

Sadly, it's not an increase in suicides, merely an increase in the awareness of them and what's causing them, :(.

That said, I plan to do everything I can to keep the conversation going for as long as I can...

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

The "on the fence" people keep rising up along with the "trying to see both sides of the issue" I give them all the side eye in the world

[teleens-journal.livejournal.com]

This.