Because of the new rules regarding what may be discussed on LiveJournal, I'm going to be deleting my account.  I'm looking for suggestions for blogging platforms that allow me to backdate entries.  I'm also wondering if anyone knows of a way that I can migrate entries over to other platforms easily?  All of my fan fiction is on AO3, so no worries there, but there are some other entries I'd like to keep before I delete my journal.  
Inspired by more than one comment on the post that this post links to, I'm finally going to weigh in on the whole anti-PC, thought-police, this-word-has-another-meaning-and-no-one-can-own-a-word, I-don't have-to-change-simply-because-you're-offended school of thought.

I'm going to begin by saying that I'm guilty of using pretty much every word that is at issue at one point or another, some as recently as last year, so I'm not saying that I'm not in a glass house here. 

However.

For those who are against changing their language to remove certain words from their vocabularies because another person is offended by it, I ask the following question:

Who does it hurt? 

Seriously, who does it hurt to make the effort not to use words that others have found offensive?  I know that it's an effort to do so, so I guess someone could argue that it's hurting them by virtue of the fact that changing one's vocabulary and deleting certain words is hella difficult...  Well, I have to say that it's more difficult in the offline world, but online?  It's as easy as being careful of what one types.  I realize that for some, who type as quickly as they think, that could be a challenge, but seriously?  Who does it hurt?  Why is it such a big deal to just not be an asshat when someone asks you to do so?

Cut for possible triggers and an incomplete list of incredibly offensive slurs that everyone should know not to use. Ever.  )And because I've been educating myself a bunch lately, here are a bunch of links that all say all of this a lot better than I just did.

101 Primer

[livejournal.com profile] sparkindarkness' entire journal.

Read all of that and then come back to discuss, if you wish, :).

ETA: Proof that not being an asshat is an ongoing battle: Weak is ableist.  Thank you to [livejournal.com profile] 51stcenturyfox  for letting me know, :).

ETA 2: My comment thread on the post that started all of this is here

ETA 3: Drama communities are probably not the best place to start, lol, but if it were not for them I never would have found most of this stuff out, which is why I mentioned them.  The best place to start is with the 101 Primer and go from there, :).

This post has now been edited because my essential message was being lost and I was doing more harm than good by defending my position on one phrase.  Most of the comments regarding that phrase have now been screened.  I'm not a PoC, so my feelings on that phrase don't matter whatsoever and continuing to argue about it only detracts from the essential point of what I was trying to say. 

I apologize for the drama.

For the record I am US-born, white, queer though I easily pass for both female and straight, and able-bodied.  I have no personal experience with physical, racial or ethnic discrimination and I apologize for speaking for those groups as if I were personally invested in those particular slurs not being used.

The areas in which I have personal experience and/or a personal investment include: feminism/sexim, sex work, body image/food, sexual freedom, BGLTQP rights/homophobia, bullying, child abuse, the US foster care system, the US health care system, PTSD, anxiety, depression and mental health.  
Seen on facebook today, the status of a friend of mine:

If you exclude people from your civil society, don't expect them to care much about its issues and/or pending demise...

All I could think was - THIS.  
Cut for length and rage. )

I'm not going to beg heteronormative society for a place within it.  I'm happy living on the fringe if it means I don't have to hide who I am in the name of 'fitting in'.  And I can feel nearly-guilt-free Schadenfreude when discrimination and hypocrisy come back to bite the mainstream hard on its self-righteous ass.  
To all of you out there reading this, I'm not normal.  I'm not neurotypical and I'm on the autism spectrum.  I've always been this way - I just didn't have a name for it until very, very recently.

Before you ask, I'm self-diagnosed.  But if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's fucking Aspergers, m'kay?

Am I bitter?  Little bit.  All my life I've been fucking weird, felt like an outsider and like there was a whole world that I just couldn't understand and I just got to find out that I probably never will.

There's no real treatment for what I have, no magic pill or therapy to make the walls come down and help me to actually understand what most of the population takes for granted.  

I never get to know...  So many fucking things.  I get to feel like I'm on the outside looking in and never really understand...  I'm repeating myself there, but I'm typing this while I'm crying and just...
Holy fuck this is long. Possibly the longest post I've ever put up here that wasn't a story. So long that I don't even know if LJ will take it. And I'm not reading over this before I post it, so there will be typos liekwhoa. Also, non-graphic trigger warning for those who have ever felt like outsiders or like the world could never understand them. Read at your own risk. But you should be doing that already if you're here, so I guess that read if you want to would be more appropriate. )



I have this odd urge to just write "The End," even though it would be abrupt and odd. 

The End.

...

PS I'm screening comments, 'cause that's just how I'm rolling on this one.

That's what we all want to tell everyone who's ever been bullied.  It gets better.  At some point in your life, you'll look back and realize that those who hurt you were small-minded, stupid asshats who are probably unhappy with their lives now and who will never feel as good about themselves as you do now.

It's a beautiful sentiment and I've really loved seeing the outpouring of similar messages all over the internet. 

That said, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry to be the cynical, depressed voice that cuts through all of the love and says, "Hey, wait a second..." 

To someone who is being bullied, no amount of 'It will get better' from random strangers will necessarily help.  To someone who's in that dark place, they feel as though their pain is unique and nothing and no one could ever understand it, even if the person telling them has been in the exact same situation before.

Because the pain of someone else isn't mine.  What I went through and got through doesn't mean dick to someone who's still going through it right now.  All the, 'there's light at the end of the tunnel's' in the world don't make a difference to someone who's being systematically tortured every moment of every day.  

Again, it's a beautiful idea for people who aren't in that place any longer to reach back and try to pull someone forward with them, but speaking as someone who's both been in that place and had people tell me that it'll get better....  I was going to say that I can say that it might not help but then I realized - I'm speaking for those who are in that dark place.

I'm saying that my pain was comparable to theirs and because all those 'it gets betters' didn't help me, it won't help them.

I'm wrong. 

I'm depressed right now and it's clouding how I'm looking at the world, but not so much that I don't realize how wrong I am.  

Just because 'it gets better' didn't work and doesn't work for me, as a rule, doesn't mean that it won't work for someone else.  So if you have a chance to tell someone it'll get better, take it.

They might be lucky enough to be nothing like me, :).

Dreamwidth

Sep. 4th, 2010 05:11 pm
I have an account over there.  Someone gave me an invite code a while ago and I thought it'd be good to have if I wanted to log in and comment on something.  The name there is the same as the name here and if you friend me over there, I'll friend you back.

That said, I'm pretty much never on Dreamwidth unless I'm linked there by someone else.  I had to struggle to remember my username over there the other day when someone friended me.

I also have no plans whatsoever to migrate for the simple reason that I've only recently gotten the hang of LJ, FFS (after ten years, thank you very much) and I really don't have the time to futz around with another platform right now.

Plus, I think that Dreamwidth is ugly.  The color scheme is hard on the eyes and I don't like looking at it.  While I know that I could probably customize it to make it less so, again, I don't have the time to futz around with it right now.

Finally, and this is just me being a total bitch -  )

Moral of this whine?  I'll migrate to Dreamwidth when the pain in the ass of doing so is less than the pain in the ass that is LJ. 
Please, just assume that everything there is public unless you've gone in and CHANGED YOUR ACCOUNT AND PRIVACY SETTINGS so that either no one can see things, or only your friends can see them.

Remember, facebook right now is a FREE SITE for most users that makes its money by using the information that you provide and by selling ads.  If you don't want your information everywhere, LOCK IT DOWN.

Or, y'know, don't use facebook.

I only mention this because I was just reading yet another "facebook is evil"- type post and realized that it's not facebook that's evil.  It's people being stupid with their information online that's wrong.  facebook is simply using every resource that YOU'VE GIVEN IT.  

Personally, I really like facebook.  It's allowed me to connect with people that I haven't seen in years and is generally great fun to play around on and I don't even play any of the games, :).  But I assume that everything that I post might be seen by anyone, anywhere because, y'know IT'S THE BLOODY INTERNET!

Sorry to scream here, I just get tired of seeing all of these big 'privacy concerns' about pretty much every site that I frequent when pretty much all of them have settings that allow you to make your stuff PRIVATE.  It's just that the defaults are set to 'public' and most people don't take the time to actually change them, which ISN'T FACEBOOK'S FAULT.

IMHO, naturally, :).  And I'm sure that there's at least one setting that's more evil than I realize and that someone will tell me about it - that's what I get for making sweeping generalizations.  I'm just tired of people blaming facebook (and many, many other sites) for their own lack of care with their personal information.
Most of my posted fic is Doctor Who, Torchwood or Torchwood/Doctor Who crossovers.

Bedroom Games- Ianto works hard to keep his Captain both interested and on his toes.
Party Favor - All Ages - A trip to a junk shop leads to something unexpected.
A Good Idea - Teen - What else do Jack and Ianto get up to when they're alone in the hub?
A Bad Idea - All Ages - Some fetishes should be kept to yourself.
A Better Idea - All Ages - Who wants to be dignified anyway?
Snowman - All Ages - Jack and Ianto build a snowman.
Chocolate -Teen  Ianto enjoys Jack.
Taste The Rainbow! - All Ages - Taste the rainbow!
Stopwatch - Adult - Jack/Ianto - Ianto finds more than just the obvious uses for his stopwatch. Note: this was added to the Bedroom Games series on 5/1/2013 because I truly felt it fit here.  It's the only one of the series with warnings and while there's nothing explicit, those warnings should be heeded.
Writing - All Ages, Jack/Ianto - Jack was writing on him again. (Another story that wasn't originally a part of the series, but which has been added effective 12/3/13.)
The Best Idea - Teen - Jack and Ianto share a moment of post-coital bliss.

Doctor Who/Torchwood Crossovers
Cheating - All Ages Gen, Jack/Nine - The Doctor's never been one to play by the rules.
The Promise - Teen - Slash, Jack/Doctor (Nine, Ten, Eleven) - The Doctor makes Jack a promise, but being the Doctor, takes his time keeping it.

Prompt Me, Please Fics:  Short fiction written for this challenge, :). (They also may be found using this tag.)
Trees - All Ages, Jack/Eleven - Jack and Eleven, sitting in a tree...
One Day - All Ages, but a bit dark, :), Jack Harkness - The man who would one day be known as Jack Harkness wanted to see the Universe...
Writing - All Ages, Jack/Ianto - Jack was writing on him again.
Violence - All Ages, Jack, Ianto, Ten - The Doctor's nose was bleeding.
Beautiful - Teen, Jack/Ianto - "You're beautiful like this."
Acceptance - All Ages, Jack/Rose/Nine - Living with a Time Lord is difficult sometimes.
Soap - All Ages, Jack/Ten - "This never would have happened if you'd ducked when I told you to!"
Labels - All Ages, Jack/Ianto - Jack was Jack.
Woven - Teen, Jack/Nine - Jack's seen a lot of different anatomy in his time...
Blame - All Ages, Jack/Ten - "Are you all right?"
Stars - All Ages, Jack/Tosh - "What do you see, when you look up at them?"
Sick - All Ages, Jack/Ten - Something's wrong with the Doctor...
Suggestions - All Ages, Jack/Ianto, BDSM - Ianto liked to offer suggestions.
The World - All Ages, Jack/Eleven - Jack's had many worlds over the years...
Broken Glass - All Ages - Jack/Ianto - There were days when Ianto felt as though he'd swallowed broken glass.
Dreaming - All Ages - Jack/Tosh (gen) - Tosh was dreaming again.
Stentorian - All Ages - Jack/Ianto - Ianto had a word of the day calendar.
Remembrance - All Ages - Jack/Donna (gen) - He watched her sometimes, but she never knew he was there.
Allergies - All Ages - Jack/Tosh - Jack was sneezing.
Cake - All Ages - Jack/Ianto/Eleven - No one knew when his birthday was...
Loser - Teen - Jack/Ianto - He was born a loser...
Bowties Are Cool! - Teen - Jack/Eleven - Bowties are cool!
Delirium - All Ages - Ten/Ianto, gen - Traveling with the Doctor was it's own special form of insanity...
Con Men - Teen - Crossover with White Collar - Jack/Neal Caffrey - Jack was in the bar for twenty minutes before he realized that the kid was trying to run a con on him.
Guilt - All Ages - Jack/Tosh, gen - Jack's feeling guilty.
Stopwatch - Adult - Jack/Ianto - Ianto finds more than just the obvious uses for his stopwatch.
The Coat - All Ages - Jack/Ianto - The coat was doing well, all things considered.

Other fics from miscellaneous prompts:
Saying Hello - Doctor Who, Nine/Jack, All Ages - Jack annoys Nine and has to face the consequences.
Tosh's Revenge - (gen, All Ages) - Jack has to deal with Tosh after an incident.
Waiting: Teen, Jack Harkness/Colby Granger (Crossover with Numb3rs.) - The waiting was the hardest part.
Jack - All Ages, Ianto/Eleven - "Do you ever miss him?"
First Kiss - All Ages - Jack/Ianto - Jack and Ianto have a conversation.
Coda - All Ages - Jack/Rose (gen) - Two people meet in a cemetery.
Yule - All Ages - Jack/Ianto - "So what's it like where you come from?"

Photographs - Eleven/River, all ages - The Doctor shows River some old photographs.

My Support Stacie Doctor Who and Torchwood Drabbles
Support Stacie Drabbles
Rain - All Ages - Jack/Ianto - Ianto Jones hated the rain.
Cold - All ages - Jack/Nine/Rose - The TARDIS was never cold.
Longing - All Ages - Jack/Nine/Rose - Watching them together was always bittersweet.
Wet - All Ages - Jack/Nine - "I could kill you for this."

For the darker side - Adult:  (Also found at The Angst Archive.)

Legacy of the Bad Wolf - Jack/Ianto, Jack/Ten friendship. Post COE Torchwood/Doctor Who crossover fix.   The Tenth Doctor finds Jack after the events of COE.  Read and heed the warnings, please.  PDF available, just PM me your e-mail address & I'll send it to you, :).

The Perfect Storm - Jack/Ianto/Tosh.  A dark, AU look at how the life of Captain Jack Harkness might have been different if he had decided to care on that cold night in 1965.  Please read and heed the WARNINGS!

All of my Doctor Who/Torchwood fics may also be found here. (Outside link to "A Teaspoon and an Open Mind.")

Other: Missing Scene From "Regrets" - Teen, Warehouse 13 gen discipline fic

ETA 5/1/2013 - I am slowly uploading all of my stories to AO3.

Non-fiction: Rants - My non-fiction 'Rants' on various subjects (some are friends-locked, my apologies.)  My various "rant" tags contain those that I haven't yet added to memories.

Meta - My 'meta' tag for various fandom-related topics, :).

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