Now you can look like a covergirl with the magic of Photoshop, by Adobé. 

Fake commercial under the cut. )

As someone who has been photoshopped (see icon), I can vouch for both the accuracy of the ad and the unrealistic beauty standards it promotes.
So about 18 months ago, I defended someone who was using a "Grammar Nazi" icon.  It was a shitty thing to do, I was rightly called out for it and since then I've become more aware of the word and have started calling people out when I see them using it to mean anything other than "people who support or supported Hitler". 

So now, 18 months later, someone's passing around a spelling meme on Facebook and captioned it, "For all you Grammar Nazis Out There".  I said something to the originator of the meme.  Was argued with.  Twice.  And so posted the following as my status:

Things that are Nazis: People who support or supported Hitler and his ideology.
Things that are not Nazis: Everyone else.
Please do not confuse one with the other. Thank you.
The following conversation ensued:

Cut for length and epic stupidity. )ETA: Random Commenter #2 )Cut for length and epic stupidity. )

ETA 2: The Jackass' response and more conversation. )
ETA 3: Yet another response from the jackass and my response. )ETA 4: Deep. Hurting. Yep, he responded again and derailed the conversation so far off the original point that I have no clue how to get it back on track. I tried, though. )
ETA 5: Jackass: I understand that you're offended by me using the term "IT Nazi". Well, I am not going to change it. )


Here's the thing, 18 months ago, I was that jackass.

Cut for length.  )
Warning: Possible triggers for slurs in both the comments and the post.  Also, general asshattery. 
It's not okay for you to dress as a member of the NWA.  It's also not okay for you to spell out what your costume is when someone asks what you're dressed as, especially since I KNOW you wouldn't have done it if there had been African American people in your immediate vicinity.  The DJ called you out on it, which was cool, but for the love of all that is good and holy, WTF were you thinking?  

That is all.

PS - According to the picture linked in the Wiki article above, you weren't even accurate to their image, which makes me think you just dressed "tough" as a gag and picked NWA as what you were dressed as to be as offensive as possible. 
A PSA for every man I encounter on a daily basis:

When I'm in the grocery store, waiting in line at the bank, going into the bookstore at the same time you are, walking across the parking lot...  Basically, if I'm in public, minding my own business and we've never met before, leave me the fuck alone.

I don't care that you like pink (the color of the shorts I was wearing at the store today) or my hair or my dress or my shoes.

I don't care that you want to know what time it is (a common distraction technique for criminals).

I don't care that we're both waiting in the same line boring and you find me attractive so you want to make small talk on the off chance I'll jump on your dick after knowing you for ten seconds.

Don't fucking talk to me.

I don't know you.  If we don't have friends in common or I'm not at work (where I can make money off of you*), I don't even WANT to know you.

Your speaking to me makes me uncomfortable and also makes me wonder if I need to worry about you doing more than speaking. 

I'm a woman alone.  Respect that my paranoia level is up and if you are truly a good, decent and nice human being, YOU WON'T FUCKING ADD TO MY STRESS by being "friendly" with me, a TOTAL STRANGER.

Just... Leave me the fuck alone.

Thank you for your time and attention.

*To everyone who says, "Well, you make money off of men all the time, why don't you like the attention outside of work?" I say, go step on the sharpest Lego you can find.  When I'm alone, not at a social gathering and we have no friends in common, YOU SHOULD NOT BE SPEAKING TO ME UNLESS IT'S TO TELL ME THAT MY HAIR IS ON FIRE (or other equivalent emergency)!

There will be no earthquake at 6PM on Saturday (is that Eastern or Pacific?), nor will there be a Rapture that leaves the survivors to suffer until October 21, 2011.  

It'll also still be here January 1, 2013. 

This has been a public service announcement from DUH! 

Thank you for your attention.

Over at [ profile] atheism, there's a cool bingo card for all of we rational people to fill out starting on May 22. 

If I sound pissed off, it's because I am.  I actually had to DEBATE this today (with someone actually telling me I needed to 'get right' - I'm a good and moral person; that's as fucking 'right' as I need to get, thank you very much) and there's a fucking countdown billboard above my JOB, telling me that the end is near, which is EXACTLY what I want to see right before I have to go and deal with the public.

I feel genuinely sorry for anyone who believes this total bullshit.  (To be clear, you are entitled to believe whatever you wish, but if you truly believe that the world is ending on May 21, 2011 (or sometime in 2012) we should probably part ways right now.)

I'd also like to give a big, hearty and utterly sincere FUCK YOU to those who are propagating this fear-mongering, disgusting bag of fail.


Feb. 23rd, 2011 07:32 pm
Missing Trans Woman Found Dead

There are several issues here, so I'm going to try and address them one at a time and be as coherent as I can despite my surprisingly overwhelming sense of grief for someone I didn't even know.

A quote from the article: She worked with people with disabilities but also had a police record for prostitution.

It saddens me beyond all measure that they felt the need to mention her police record for prostitution in the same breath as her work with those with disabilities.  As if one negated the other.

But I forgot.  Sex workers are inherently tainted, aren't they? 

As far as her status as a trans woman and the bearing it has here, given past cases, I have to wonder if it wasn't the cause of her death.  If the person who killed her (assuming it was murder - the police report says she died of asphyxiation, but not if it was due to an outside person) did so because they found out she'd been born with male genitalia.  And it makes me think of all the people out there who think that transgender persons are under ANY obligation to disclose their status, when the leading cause of death among transgender persons is MURDER because of ignorant bigots finding out their status.

To be clear: if you think that a trans person should tell anyone that they are trans for ANY reason whatsoever, you're an asshole.  It's their business and only theirs.  Not yours.  Not mine.  Only.  THEIRS.  Period. 

I've had this argument before and I'm going to make something else clear - I'm done arguing.  If you have an opinion that differs, keep it to yourself.  While I'm normally okay with having discussions here... not about this, not today and maybe not ever again.  Not when I keep seeing stories like this because of the sort of hatred that still exists in this world that will allow a bigot to justify ending an innocent life simply because of how that person is living it.   

Again, I don't know that this woman was murdered, but given past history, it's the most likely cause of her death. 

Cross-posted to Abolish Slavery - Legalize Prostitution.
One of the women with whom I work just posted a gorgeous picture of herself.  I was all set to 'like' it and then saw her comment underneath, in which she said she looked like a cow.  I commented as to how beautiful she looked and chastised her for saying that about herself.

If one more healthy woman on my friends' list says she's fat, I will not be held responsible for my reaction. 

I really hate it when women (and men, don't get me wrong) denigrate themselves and their bodies in this way.  It hurts me a lot because I don't have a wholly healthy relationship with food (though I'm beginning to wonder if ANY Western woman does) and I sometimes 'feel fat' because of it.

Even though I know I'm not.  Even though I know I'm healthy.  Some of it's my job, but even so - I hate it when anyone ties their self-worth to how much they weigh or what they look like.  It's so... fleeting.

And yes, I know that I'm speaking from a position of incredible privilege here as a Western beautiful white woman, but I can still think this sucks and I do.  

Also, I really wish that LJ had a 'disgusted' mood.  I find myself constantly looking for it...
I've witnessed this conversation many, many times.  Note: I am not this bad!  Also, I've been thinking of doing one like this myself, only with strip club customer interaction with dancers.  I've been balking at it, though, because I DO make money off of them.  Then again, the ones I'd be posting about are the ones who don't SPEND money, so who cares about offending them?

Everything you ever wanted to know about dating a sex worker.  Pass it on, please.
Porn Studio Extends Deal For HIV-Positive Actor

Cut for length. )

So where am I going wrong here?  I feel certain that I am, somewhere, but I just feel that unless you are in a relationship with the same partner or partners all the time, condom use is a must to prevent the spread of all diseases, not just HIV, to society.  Again, I'm not saying that they don't have the right to live their lives as they choose, but asking them to use condoms  doesn't seem unreasonable to me.  

To all of you out there reading this, I'm not normal.  I'm not neurotypical and I'm on the autism spectrum.  I've always been this way - I just didn't have a name for it until very, very recently.

Before you ask, I'm self-diagnosed.  But if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's fucking Aspergers, m'kay?

Am I bitter?  Little bit.  All my life I've been fucking weird, felt like an outsider and like there was a whole world that I just couldn't understand and I just got to find out that I probably never will.

There's no real treatment for what I have, no magic pill or therapy to make the walls come down and help me to actually understand what most of the population takes for granted.  

I never get to know...  So many fucking things.  I get to feel like I'm on the outside looking in and never really understand...  I'm repeating myself there, but I'm typing this while I'm crying and just...
Holy fuck this is long. Possibly the longest post I've ever put up here that wasn't a story. So long that I don't even know if LJ will take it. And I'm not reading over this before I post it, so there will be typos liekwhoa. Also, non-graphic trigger warning for those who have ever felt like outsiders or like the world could never understand them. Read at your own risk. But you should be doing that already if you're here, so I guess that read if you want to would be more appropriate. )

I have this odd urge to just write "The End," even though it would be abrupt and odd. 

The End.


PS I'm screening comments, 'cause that's just how I'm rolling on this one.

So, um, yeah.

I was skimming my flist for something to read when I came across this author's note: "This story is FICTION I do not wish to glorify or support the lifestyle depicted in it. It was written for pleasure and posted for entertainment purposes only."

Naturally, I just had to know what 'lifestyle' shouldn't be glorified or supported and that's when I got into trouble.  I'll let the comment I sent explain.
Cut for length. )

Never in a million years did I ever think that I would be this mean to any author in a comment, but I've found that lately I just can't let any hint of dehumanization of sex workers slide.  What I do isn't a 'lifestyle', it's a fucking job.  A job that basically gets no respect whatsoever and is doomed to be on the fringes of society.  

Maybe this labels me 'oversensitive'.  After all, it's only an author's note, right?  An author's note that I found dehumanizing and wrong.  And again, it was probably as I said in the comment - some moralist asshole gave this author shit about writing about prostitution and so they felt the need to put up a note about it.  Too bad that they posted it publicly where someone on the other side of the fence could be offended by it.  

And there's a (very) slim possibility that I'm misconstruing this completely and the lifestyle they were talking about glorifying was that of shopping for overpriced items on Rodeo Drive (that was the chapter where the note first appeared).  If that's the case, I'll apologize.  But I somehow, I doubt it, :(.

Just a reminder, my facebook group is Abolish Slavery - Legalize Prostitution and if you can see this you're welcome to join and invite your friends, :).  Remember - sex workers are people too! :)

I was going to lock this because I know that the author can be identified fairly easily if someone cares to look.  However, I'm really tired of having to hide what I do and/or spare the feelings of those who look down on me and mine for doing it. 

Sex workers have been around since humans first had the mental capacity to trade sex for another commodity.  Treating as something dirty, immoral or wrong IS wrong and I'm tired of being made to feel ashamed for standing up for those who are in my industry because it IS so on the fringes.  We're human beings who should have the right to do as we please with our bodies.  Period.
As most of you know, I'm a stripper (or exotic dancer, if you prefer).  I've been in the business for eleven years and was married when I got into it.  My husband wasn't the jealous type and my answer to anyone who asks about his feelings on the subject are always that I wouldn't be with anyone who felt that they owned me, nor would I ever date anyone who had a problem with what I do.  My reasons for going into it were complex and in general, none of your business.  I'm not saying that to be rude, merely illustrating a point.  In very few other professions do you regularly have people asking you, "So why did you start doing this?"  My answer is generally, "Because I won the genetic lottery, I like doing it and it makes good money for what I have to do for it."  The first was luck.  The last two are why ANYONE has a job.

Cut for length and subject matter, though really, this journal is adult, so if you're here, you're old enough to read about whatever's under this cut, :). )

tl;dr If we've just met and you want to know more about my job, it's okay to ask, really, but at this point I'm thinking that I'll probably just direct new friends to my dancing tag and if you're still curious about something after reading the posts in it, I'll be happy to enlighten you about anything you want to know, :).  And I know that this post is probably making anyone who was curious think that it's NOT okay to ask, which really isn't my intention, as I don't mind dispelling myths about strippers (no, we're not all supporting loser boyfriends, children, school or a drug habit, nor are we all poor abuse victims with no self-esteem and no other options), but I'd like it if you read what I've already said first and go from there, :).      



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